| ancient. |
[23 Oct 2007|04:06pm] |
I found an incredible little site called blurty. Apparently its where I cried my heart out in ninth grade. wow, talk about nostagia. strange...strange.
I am going to start journaling again. I think its healthy. And seeing as how no one reads this, it should be free.
right now I am stalling going to bed. I cant sleep in the same room with another person anymore. this whole 'roommate' scenerio is a negative. My toes are freezing. Incredibly cold.
Alright, here is the plan. We are all going to collectively drop out of college, and start a second peace movement. We will start and underground American hostel circuit, until we Europeanize the United States. Students can travel to any city they want, and stay there for eight bucks a night. Who is game?
cold toes.
brandon, read this. we need to communicate more often.
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[29 Jun 2007|11:11pm] |
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mood |
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TIC
This Is Chile.
South America is real. People, tons of them, problems, love, war, god,passion, demise.
Ive been on this continent for a week and a few days. I have seen 3 countries, countless faces, places. Andes moutain's, brazil and argentina's adam and eve waterfalls, mother mary protects santiago chile.
its all jumbled and jammed into one massive chaotic movement. Something inside of me is awake, alive, jumping, and stirring. I want to feed hungry kids, learn spanish, rain Jesus, get a giant trashbag and put all of santiago's city smog in it. Stop homeless beggers, learn to be a street juggler, get the tango dancer's autograph (heck, phone number at that).
Everyone looks the same. Big black eyes, big black bangs, dark perfectly tan skin. the type of skin that doesn't get white in the winter, just kind of yellow.
They kiss to say hello. kisses on the cheek, big embraces, let you know they really care. they want you around, they really want to know how your doing. Teenagers kiss on the streets, in the subways, on park benches, not afraid to show affection, no matter how unrooted it may be.
be home soon. another few days. im changing, its for the better.
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| Behold what I can do through HIM |
[09 Apr 2007|11:14pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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13 years ago a seed was planted in my life.
13 years ago I had a dream, and I held onto it for dear life.
13 years ago I began the most painful, dedicated, and heartfelt journey (outside of Christ) of my life.
Today I recieved a letter from a dream-maker.
I am going to play Division 1 College Soccer at the University of Alabama in Birmingham.
amen, holy ghost, God Almighty PRAISE time.
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[06 Apr 2007|08:55am] |
" J.D. Salinger, in his classic cynic voice, manages to unveil the counterfeit dispostion of modern day America..."
This research paper owns my life right now. Its got me capitalizing each word of the sentence and all, a habit I meant to pick up ages ago.
I have faced the first true tests to my new found happiness of late. I lost someone dear to me, and I had a 'tense moment' with another. Linds calls those horrid seconds of disagreement tense moments, they aren't fights.
On a B.C. day I would have lost my mind, my cool, my toungue, and my fists. But I'm walking in an after death life, proud to march and slay away every obsticle with a smile on my face.
someone once told me 'you can have strong convictions and still manage to hang out with those who don't without forcing your own beleives on them.'
as in: its ok to be layed back and own moral standards at the same time.
now, this is extremely true to an extent. I mean, I attend public school and don't need anxiety medication.
But I shouldn't have to sensor or hide myself, myself being my clear as day convictions and decisions, just because I'm surrounded by 'world' people. I interact with my school friends just the same as i interact with my church friends: I pray, praise, laugh, and play. whether or not one is down with the 'pray, praise' part.
I didn't get included in the limo I was hoping for for prom. Most of those kids have been my best friends since I became 'Sherei', running across soccer fields and playing tag for years. their excuse is 'we are probably going to be doing some things that would make you uncomfortable, and we dont want to put you in that situation'.
all i can hear is "your believes put conviction on me, so I'm not going to invite you because I want to be able to have fun without feeling bad about it."
If you really know me, you know I'm not going to stop you. I'll be your designated driver, I will pray for you, I will take care of you, I will be here when you need me, but I'm not going to call you a hooligan and slap you for your decision. What kind of Christian would I be if I disrespected the same free will that gave the life I'm trifold blessed with now?
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| american idol isnt all its cracked up to be |
[20 Mar 2007|10:14pm] |
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 nostalgic |
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today we were roadtriping for a rediculously long time and i had a stack of books in the back. my new bible kept hitting falling and hitting heydii in the head, and then she got one of my worship songs stuck in her head. i told her jesus was trying to talk to her. good stuff.
today's road trip consisted of: philedelphia (revolutionary hall, liberty bell, rocky steps, love sign), gettysburg cemetery, fort something..geez whats the name.
dad and i couldnt control ourselves, it was like history nerds fieldtrip gallor. monuments here and incredibly old documents there, i wouldn't give it up for ANYTHING.
i thought the day had topped out when we went to gettysburg. the cemetery still had a white snow blanket on it and the sun was shining. it stole my breath. when we finally got back to gwendy's house we got a rare treat, to talk to whitney.
so here is the sitch: whitney (my beautiful perfect amazing big sister) is studying abroad in chili. her phone doesn't work, plus there is a retarded time change so we don't get to speak much. she bought a webcam and downloaded skype so every one in a blue moon we get to see and hear her. it was such a godsend because we were all together and we were like 'man wish whitney was here' and then she phoned us on skype. i think it was a hard moment for everyone, we miss her so much, but it was great to see to see her face and hear her. chili is a hard place to live. she is female, so the men are constantly barking at her. she cant wear shorts and skirts despite how how it is. simple things like airconditioning or space in general isn't provided. the city is incredibly dirty, somedays the smog gets so bad she can't see the andes that surround her valley. last week she got food poisoning and has been sick ever sense. her classes are really hard because they are all in spanish, and she is still trying to get adjusted to the language barrier. in good news she is hoping to get to go to antartica soon, a trip of a lifetime. so just keep her in your prayers, and me too because im going to visit soon!
next few days agenda:
going to woodbridge to see heydii, marc, and ida
getting my prom dress
birthday dinner for daddy
pack up
thursday:
day 1 of trip home
stop at a bunch of monuments
friday goes the same
hopefully be home saturday
do massive amounts of homework
get some 'friends home from college' hang out time in
sunday
church
JAKE COMES HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!........ in the afternoon
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[18 Mar 2007|10:06pm] |
in virginia.
getting to visit gwendy and heydii, miss whitney like a hurricane. dyed my hair. stuff like that...
i think im realizing more and more that my family is accepting me as a young adult, or at least as not a teenager anymore. this is the first time ive visited my family that all of them (aunts and uncles included!) allow me to participate in the 'big table' conversations. for the first time in a while I've welcomed the 'what are your future plans' conversation. I am so excited and on fire for the destiny god is constantly revealing to me, and I think they are beginning to see that in me. For the first time since i became a Christian I feel like my family is seeing it as a thing that isn't going away. They ask me questions about god, Jesus, the bible..and I finally feel equipped to answer them. My sisters make references to me going to church all the time, and for the first time ever its in a positive voice.
I think its hard to see change in yourself. I think when people who are close to your heart, but rarely get to see you, recognize the change in you then it is a sign that the change is perminant and real. It has been an incredible journey, but this week has just been proof and revelation that this is here to stick.
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[07 Mar 2007|09:50am] |
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i think this is called an unconditional state of happy
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[04 Mar 2007|10:27pm] |
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 groggy |
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I've got a headache. Jake does too. Dispite how irritating it is, I think its pretty stinking cute that our headaches are choragraphed together. high five for joint pain and grouchiness.
next week is 'pre spring break'. no school. i hope God opens some doors and i get to travel for the real spring break. these are my options
dream vaca: maui with jake and the twins
hopeful vaca: the beach with 'anna and friends'
actual vaca: virginia with papi to see my beautiful big sisters
everyday has been a revelation. blessing. doors opened. my dad has gone to church two weekends in a row. for those of you who know me, its been a long time coming. my prayer has never been for my family to join my church, i dont beleive you have to be in a church for god to show up. i've just placed that prayer in my heart and in my spirit that they would understand who he is, and i mean..i think my church is a pretty great place to start. when the presence of god is within a few feet of you, you dont have to seek Him but that doesn't gaurd you from feeling the affect of His presence.
sweet dreams
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[18 Feb 2007|09:32pm] |
i think when i get married i want to partake in all rediculous traditions. breaking of glass, the whole nine yards. who cares if im not jewish (is that right?)
i remember reaching a point in my faith were i was seriously like 'alright god, what next. i mean, are you serious, its gets better than this?'
i thought i had it made, and i thought i didn't need to try anymore. i stopped trying, i stopped chasing.
that was probably the weakest and worst decision ive ever made.
after a long terrible distraction, i finally got my head back on straight. for the last few months ive been desperate for Him, and its taken me farther than ive ever been. I can't remember ever feeling this fullfilled, this happy.
the other day i was on the soccer field and i scored. instead of doing that prideful yell i just smiled and embraced my teammates. i remember thinking 'this is Your worship, this joy is all for You'.
right now im pretty sick and the wonderful group of people that surround me are concerned with my welbeing. everytime someone asks me how im doing or how i feel i just want to say 'yea this earthly body of mine isnt holding up to well right now, but im so far beyond im not sure it matters. my spirit, my Jesus, is carrying me miles past this. I'm not even sure if i can feel pain in this sore cough you can hear.'
on a more casual note, these last few days have been pretty perfect. i hate the idea of commericalized valentines day, and i think jake knew that. sometimes im awestuck with how well it seems like he knows me. tulips are my new absolute favorite flowers.
we've been hanging out with reese lately. he's probably one of the the most funloving guys i've ever met. my plots for him to marry one of my sisters might be falling through, i think ill start egging on the union of him and one of my acct girls soon.
great days. this senior year is shaping up to be one for the records.
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[17 Feb 2007|09:24am] |
if you ever have a sore throat, just by some little candy hearts. magic, pure magic.
everyone should come to my game today at two. its going to be pretty epic. i wont be playing much...but im setting my self up to play on tuesday
in which i change my word choice from 'should' to 'must'.
everyone must come to my game next tuesday at four thirty at sparkman. its going to be pretty epic to say the least. i will actually be playing in it.
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[12 Feb 2007|09:12pm] |
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life is as close to perfection as it can get. Good friends, sitcom family, soccer, church. all smiles.
today i kind of pissed my coach off and he gave me a 'stern talking to'. if i dont start making more practices im going to lose my starting position.
bomb drop. ww3
its so incredible, every time i feel like im 'over' this sport, every time i feel like im just playing for 'fun'. something happens to sting me. something stirs me. I know what it feels like to be in love with soccer. i know what it feels like to wake up, and count down the seconds until my feet hit the field. i remember running miles in the middle of the summer just to get an edge on the field.
i gave that up. it was what i wanted.
i dont think you get to pick what you love, and what you dont. right now im trying to decide if im going to play college ball. my mind and my mouth say, 'no. im too busy for that. ive got way too much on my plate, and i just cant make that kind of dedication'.
today i got stirred, and i completely lost my cool. i hate knowing that i still love this sport, and it still has its grasp on me.
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| i drew a snowman on the etch-a-sketch |
[01 Feb 2007|05:22pm] |
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mood |
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jubilant |
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two reasons today is the best day in the world:
SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW
SMALLVILLE TONIGHT! LANA FINDS OUT ABOUT CLARK ! ! !
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| brightest little firefly! |
[01 Feb 2007|06:21am] |
i know i said it was a forever closure thing and i meant that. i mean, we had to right? i cant do anything if your heart isnt in it anymore. falling outs, they happen. i guess the iris in me just hopes things come around. a few months of seperation, of growth. then we run into eachother, fall into eachothers lives. your the man(maid!) of honor, always have been. i know its not going to happen, but i still hope you come home one day. i just want you to know im doing good, doing great. so this is an update on my life, for all the times i couldnt tell you.
i fell for that boy i started to tell you about. its been really good. really good.
soccer has been such an epic blessing, i feel like my heart is more in this than its ever been.
im learning how to relove music. finding music on my own. letting it provoke emotion.
i cant even begin to explain how much i love church. my church, my home, my sanctuary. i grow in that community every second. i think i want this to be my life...
im going to uab, and im so happy about it. the whitney sherei reunion is going to be HUGEEE
i will ALWAYS be bitter i didnt get a day with the wii...
i love you, i miss you. same old, same old. always will be.
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| battlefield |
[25 Jan 2007|02:26pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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'is your belt suppose to be there?'
'wait, you are still friends with him after what you did?'
'...but we need to talk about this. I dont know how i feel, and by now, i feel like i should know. I dont know if i should be in a relationship'
'just because you are senior doesnt mean your on this team.'
' im not coming home this weekend monkey, i have drill.'
big air. big breaths. big prayer.
catch and release.
wish pat were here right now.
i want to go camping. go for a vacation. come home in a month. i need the sunshine. laughs and smiles and hugs and love.
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[14 Jan 2007|01:21pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
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i havent had contact solution in about a month and i think my eyes are about to fall out.
sense we are talking about about my face i will go ahead and mention my hair has been rediculous curly for a while now, i miss my straightner.
im here because im happy. i feel like i only post to vent, and i really need to change that, alot.
yesterday was laurel's (and jordan, if you count that entire twin thing) suprise birthday party. it was fun. fun being a bit of an understatement. i felt like i was a freshmen again. just running around, screaming, and being rediculous. i was nervous because jake was there, and i knew it would be very loud, and im not sure how he does with 'very loud'. he did great though. mrs mckenzie only cornered him once and asked him about his life plans...
the night before i attempted to help brandon get his license. man, that didnt go well. but the plot to get him home next weekend is slowly but surely working. . .
ohhh man, it just dawned on me that i am now able to go pick up smallville season 5. its andrew's copy, and he just got it back. what am i waiting for! ahhhh
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[08 Jan 2007|07:53pm] |
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today was half decent. dropped two of my classes, that brought me endless joy. amen.
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[30 Jul 2006|11:26pm] |
it did rock. my summer that is. met andrew < pretty much the neatest guy. loved church and all that it entailed. got set on FIRE for soccer. pretty much figured out where i want to go to school. went on a few killa retreats..soccer, church. and i still have one soccer camp left. ameeeeeennnnnn
its patricks birthday. hiphip hooray.
books you should read (personal favorites of sherei's summer):
de bible; acts!
more than just a carpenter
too close too soon
and..
girly magazines! like cosmo and seventeen (my fweaking goodness, can you believe it? thats just rediculous. i wear this nonsense called 'makeup' quite regularly now too. what in the world...)
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| ive counted my blessings, praise the lord |
[21 May 2006|12:54pm] |
such.a.fweaking.good.time.
so im in virginia with my beautiful sisters and brother. this has been the time of my life. let me explain:
gwendy, 26
heydii, 23
whitney, 20
sherei, 17
whitney and i are exactly like heydii and gwendy. whitney is my best friend (as heydii is gwendy's best friend). heydii is messy and free spirited like me, while whitney and gwendy suffer from a mild case of OCD(!!) and extreme organization. when the four of us gather, its nonstop laughs. we always do the same things, dispite how much time we spend apart. we are all always saying the same sentences at the same time and laughing in the same huge manner. my sisters are clever girls, so the practical jokes never really end.
and then their is marc, my brothernonbrotherbrother. long story. another long story made short; im pretty sure he has lost half of his brain to drugs. its a sad thing, but at the same time he is one of those free spirit stoners you cant help but to smile at. so we are all sitting here cracking up, and every once in a while marc will try to tell a story. but he always forgets the middle, or the end, and he always fumbles over his words. and then when its complete it doesnt make any sense.
heydii has a new boyfriend we just met. 'meeting new boyfriends' is one of my favorite lopez family traditions. dad, a huge scary spanish man, always ..i mean always...intimidates the crap out of the boys. he yells at them, ask them the classics (what are your intentions with my daughter!!??) and usually sends them packing. and then to make matters worse, whitney, gwendy, and myself decided to start hitting on him. it was HILARIOUS. heydii was dancing up on some dude at a baseball game, and erik (her boyfriend) was like 'whoaaa'. so we all sent erik a text message that said like 'lets hook up, your hott'. heydii got soo mad. and then everytime we would pass him whitney would shake her THANG (she certainly has one) or gwendy and i would drop something just so we could bend over and pick it up.
im sure you had to be there, but basically. this is exactly what i needed. i am an army brat, so its really difficult for me to make friends. not that i dont make friends, just that i have a general disinterest in keeping them. im so use to packing up and leaving, i dont see the point in 'trying' at friendship. yes ive been blessed with a few great people in my life. but what im trying to say it--whenever things get awful at home, and im ready to pack up, ive always got my sisters here. they are my family, my best and dearest friends. sometimes all it takes is three days in paradise to make the real world seem like a sinch.
when i get home i plan on having the best summer of my life. i plan on watching the world cup like its going out of style, playing soccer harder than i ever have, living at the rock family worship center and spending as much time with my 'masters commission'ers before they have to go to school in the fall, exploring new friendships that have just recently been birthed and i cant wait to investigate, enjoying my wonderful 'huntsville regular' friends, and of course enjoying time with old friends home from college.
my life is awesome, that is something to count blessings for.
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[21 May 2006|12:25am] |
is it a crime to post things in my journal, seeing as how it is my journal?
attention all readers:
this is the journal of sherei, if you have no interest in reading it or knowing some of my thoughts..then don't. that simple.its as simple as removing me from your friends list.
in other news:
i love my life to an extreme. i love my family, my church, and my friends. the only thing i would change about my life is my past, and the people i wasted my life with for such a long time. the type of people who honestly never cared about me, and who only 'put up' with my company because they had to. I don't regret my time, they have molded me into a stronger and more tolerant person. with the acception of jake, who has never done anything to offend me, i would be pretty happy deleting that era of my life.
as for my beloved patty, thats just what he is. my beloved patty. thats another thing: attention to everyone who knows me:
patrick boardman is my best friend. that isnt changing due to any outside forces. if we are to, heaven forbid, part ways-- it will be on OUR OWN ACCOUNT and under the influence of absolutely no one else. if you have a problem with me or the fact that patrick is indeed my best friend, lets talk about it. he isnt going anywhere.
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